Getting to Know You

 My wife and I have been married a long time. We've known each other just a little longer than we've been a couple. We have a great relationship. Go back and read the second sentence again. We "rushed in." Elvis may think us foolish but it worked out pretty well. I love her as much as I ever did and I'm pretty sure she means it when she says she loves me. We have a nice time together. We enjoy one another's company. Even the romance is still strong, nudge nudge wink wink say no more! 

I believe the lesson here is that you don't really need to get to know a person before getting married. Well, maybe that's an oversimplification. I think there has to be attraction, you have to know each other as well as you can without the benefit of years, and you have to get along.

When people have asked me the secret to the success of my marriage, I always give the same answer: our values are aligned. We want the same things. We are committed to the same things. We agree on how or kids should be raised. We worship in the same way. We like a lot of the same things, and more importantly, we believe the same things.

Our values are aligned. What does this mean?

We are committed to one another and we believe in the institution of marriage. We believe we made a commitment that must be honored for life. We didn't take the decision to get married lightly so it stands to reason that a decision to part ways would also be taken seriously.

Our values are aligned when it comes to money, to family, to work, to everything. This is why our marriage works.

This is not to say that we have a perfect marriage. No one does. We have our ups and downs. We fight. We disagree. We get on each other's nerves. I always love my wife. I don't always like her. I'm sure she would say the same thing about me. Maybe she won't be as nice about it as I am not as lovable as I'd like to believe I am.

That being said, Happy Birthday, Abdaliz. I love you now and always.

How To Everything 2

Yesterday I ranted about productivity. I'll admit, I'm not as productive as I'd like to be. I would say I am among the most productive people I know personally. After many years in the corporate world and now as a business owner serving the world of academia, I can say most people waste time. I am among those people. The difference is I am aware of it.

A good deal of my workday is spent with customers. From making sales and taking orders, to collection calls and the occasional dispute. I am in the food service business, so I also spend some time everyday in the kitchen, actually cooking. I often run inventory. I have to place orders and receive them. I review invoices and I balance my checkbook. I even run payroll. These are useful and necessary activities that I could delegate, but I feel they are good ways for me to keep an eye on the business; a finger on the pulse, if you will.

I actually spend some of my down time (when there are no customers and no calls to make) stocking coolers and racks and even shopping. This also keeps me in touch with the business. I will often listen to audio books while I'm doing this kind of work as I'd rather engage my mind in learning while performing tasks that don't require too much thought on my part.

Audio books are a great time saver. You can get through books during time that would otherwise be wasted like when you're stocking coolers or walking your dogs or sitting in traffic. I probably get through just over one book per week. You can always buy audio books or you can download the Libby app to your phone, which works with your public library so it's free! I do some of both, but I will admit I love Libby.  And, it's not really free. My taxes help pay for the local libraries so I might as well get some of my money back in the form of self-improvement.

I tend to use audio books when it's a subject I want to learn about, not one I need to learn about. The reason is there will always be distractions. People will call or approach you with a question or some other thing. I have a short attention span (now known as ADD) so it's easy to lose my place even when listening. I'll often "rewind" and re-listen to the portions I missed.

I know this may seem obsessive or, at the very least, uber-nerdy, but I believe in learning and bettering myself. I also believe that time should be treated like the valuable, limited resource it is, so I find ways to not waste it. This is one of them.

Adolfo Jimenez is an entrepreneur, author, poet, and blogger. He lives in Hollywood, Florida. He has published ten books, which you can find here. Adolfo is the co-owner of The Cafeteria Company, a commissary outsourcing firm. He also co-owns Soup -n- Sam, Le Velo Macaron, and Starlight Catering.

When No One is Watching

December 13, 2021

 I've heard it said that character is what you do when no one is watching. I believe this. I also believe character is revealed when we don't know exactly who has their eye on us.

We had a situation last week. A client came into our place of business, upset about something that had nothing to do with us. An IT situation was affecting 427 of our clients. All of them understood that we were working hard to make our clients' life easier. All except one. 

This poor excuse for a man decided to berate my wife while I was working with other clients. He left her in tears. When I approached him to ask if he'd like to talk to me this way. He said he had nothing to say to me. I (not) very calmly informed him that if he ever spoke to my wife that way again, he would leave this place in an ambulance.

I'm not proud of my behavior, but the fact that I didn't crush his larynx is proof of what a kind and patient man I am.

Why? Because when our security guard approached him and explained that I was angry because I was defending my wife, his answer was, "oh, I didn't realize he was her husband." as if attacking an unattached woman is somehow okay.

I am all for equality between men and women. I believe in equal treatment and protection under the law. But I recognize that we are not the same. Men are stronger and more aggressive. More often than not, in domestic violence situations, it is the man who assaults the woman. A man yells and exhibits violent behavior to a woman, she is likely going to be intimidated.

This man understood this. He chose to be a jerk and scare a woman. I made him eat his own cooking. He didn't like it at all.

We can be equal and still recognize our differences. Men are physically stronger than women. Women beat men at everything else.

How To Everything

 4:07 AM

I've never been much of a sleeper. I get by on about five hours, though. I prefer six. Every now and again I come home exhausted and I will plop down on my bed and try to nap. I usually end up staring at the ceiling and then answering emails or reading.

There was a time when I didn't let these extra hours go to waste. If I couldn't sleep, like this morning, I would get up and do something. I would usually write. I have written over twenty books, at least as many screenplays, hundreds of poems and short stories and essays. 

As my new business, which requires that I start very early, has grown, I've abandoned my productive ways. I lay in bed and ponder when I can't sleep. Pondering is nice. Action is nicer.

We were closed for Spring Break last week. I woke up early and wrote every day. I completed a collection of nine short stories that I plan to eventually publish. I also got a lot done around the house as we are in the middle of a renovation. I spent time with my wife. I walked my dogs. I had dinner with friends. I cleaned my pizza oven. I got stuff done. I also read two books.

I listen to audio books. It's a great time-saver and it's easy on my eyes, which are 50 years old and counting. I still do read the old fashioned way, which is not easy on the eyes, but is something I can't live without and a big reason I am a moderately successful person.

I have two very close friends. One, I've known for about twenty years, the other for nearly forty. The three of us keep in contact via a group text. I admit I am often lost as they spend a great deal of time discussing the TV shows they are watching. I watch TV, but not nearly enough to keep up with the average American. I try to be productive instead.

I have no patience for people who whine about not having time to do anything with their lives, but are up to date with the latest shows, or can tell you who in America's got talent. Not crazy about people who say they're broke but can tell you what to order at all the trendy restaurants. Those people drive the nicest cars, have the best clothes and the latest gadgets.

I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy nice things, I am saying you need to invest in yourself. You need to care about your life as much as you care about the lives of others. You need to treat your limited time with respect. You must treat time like the valuable, non-renewable resource it is. You must invest in yourself, rather than just treat yourself.

I hear too many people whining about how hard it is to get ahead, then watch them drive off in a car they can barely afford to an overpriced rented home to watch four hours of TV while overpaying for mediocre food that was Ubered to their home. Never once do they think to take time to learn a skill or read a book or get a part time job or start a business or a side hustle.

I have no pity for you. Live with your choices. In fact, we all live with our choices, so start making better ones.

I'm a little grumpy this morning. It's been a while since I've gotten out of my warm bed to write this early.

Adolfo Jimenez is an entrepreneur, author, poet, and blogger. He lives in Hollywood, Florida. He has published ten books, which you can find here. Adolfo is the co-owner of The Cafeteria Company, a commissary outsourcing firm. He also co-owns Soup -n- Sam, Le Velo Macaron, and Starlight Catering.