The Black Water

I get sad sometimes. I mean, everybody gets sad sometimes. I get depressed. Yesterday, a friend of mine showed me a meme he'd seen on Instagram. It showed the faces of entertainers who have committed suicide. These were people who were outwardly happy and seemed to have it all. He told me the meme made him think of me. Because I tend to be the class clown. I strike people as being impossibly happy - until I'm not.

I am a joker. I am happy-go-lucky. I've had people half my age call me a child. I out-kid my kids. But now and then I find myself swimming in the black water. Sometimes, it happens for no reason that I can name. Sometimes, it is triggered. It's always fairly debilitating.

The important thing is that I've learned enough about myself to recognize when I'm swimming in the black water, and I can deal with it. I try to work as I normally would to keep my mind occupied. I keep my distance from people. I don't want them to hurt me and I don't want to hurt them. I endure. No drugs, prescription or otherwise. I take a little time and I work through the issues, if there are any, and I occupy my mind.

I'm not saying that people who suffer from depression shouldn't get help. I'm a big believer in therapy. I believe in having a support system. I believe in self awareness.

So, if you are like me in the sense that every now and then you get depressed and feel hopeless or lost, please don't let yourself believe that it's a situation with no way out. There is always a way out and as Robert Frost said, "The best way out is through."

For a writer, everything can be fuel for the fire. Even the things that feel like the opposite of fuel. Sometimes art comes from pain, and the light shines in the dark places. Don't be afraid to package your sadness, your pain, your anger, your fear, and even your happiness into a story, a painting, a poem, or a song. Everything's been said before, but not by you. It is your uniqueness and personal life experience that separate you from the billions of people you share the planet with. Sharing that point of view will enrich the world and will serve as therapy for you. Trust me. I just did it.



Adolfo Jimenez is a writer living against his will in Hollywood, Florida.  His latest release is Scenes from a 1979 Ford Fairmont, a short book of poems. Get it on Amazon!

Check him out here!