The Support System

Maybe it's because I'm staring down the barrel of the big 5-0. Maybe it's because I'm just a little tired of not doing what I feel I was put on this earth to do. Maybe things happen because they are meant to happen. I don't know.

What I do know, is that I am taking writing more seriously than I have in the twenty-five years since I first started writing.

A little background:

I was married and had two kids from two different women before my twenty-first birthday. I was divorced before my 22nd birthday. It was a tumultuous and traumatic time. It was then that I started writing.

I wrote a few books, a bunch of short stories, poems, and some screenplays. First drafts all. I never rewrote a damn thing.

What an idiot.

In those years there were women, one of which I lived with for four years. She was a great lady and I loved her dearly. But she never read a word of my writing and it destroyed me. I felt she didn't support me. Maybe I was right and maybe I was wrong. I don't know. What I do know is that I got choked up on all the wrong things.

That relationship ended and I slept around until I met the woman who would become my wife and has been by my side for 19 years. She has read my work and supported me. She has put up with my crap.

And being the ungrateful shit that I am, I realize I don't really need her. It's not that I don't need her. I don't need anyone at all. I don't need to have someone read my work and tell me I'm a genius, especially since no honest person would say such a thing. What I need is someone to not only give me my space, but to protect that space. I need someone to stand watch and protect me from interruptions. My wife is that person... most of the time.

I've come to understand that putting pressure on people, making them feel that in order to love you, they must also be your adoring fan, is destructive. People are people and we are supposed to love them for their individuality. Well, sometimes, individuals don't feel like reading your shit. Deal with it.

Abby and I have a nice system. I read to her. I read to her on our first date. I tried to read to her but I couldn't because I was only focused on getting her alone in the dark and this was in the time before tablets. But reading to her is a nice way for us to spend time. It gives me the opportunity to find flaws and typos. It's a bonding opportunity and has become part of the editing process for my work. I can't zone out or skip over things when I am reading to an audience. Especially when the audience is made up of my number one fan and roommate!

So, yes, look for support. Look for your own fans, but don't let the lack of support cripple your progress. Don't take another person's lack of interest to be a sign that you're wasting your time. Work harder for their attention. They'll either get to say they knew you when you were nobody or they'll have to admit they missed the greatness that was right in front of their nose!




Adolfo Jimenez is a writer living against his will in Hollywood, Florida.  His latest release is Scenes from a 1979 Ford Fairmont, a short book of poems. Get it on Amazon!

Check him out here!